I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
