its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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