Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
