the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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