im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
