SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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