Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
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