please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
tell me about the fingering
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