I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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