My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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