We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
