whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina