My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.