I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals