It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
