Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?