I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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