Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My cat gives me a boner
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room