he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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