remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
