She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
