If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
