I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
