I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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