id be glad to
Who wears a wallet chain?!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
