This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
