why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
