Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
