yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize