I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize