I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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