Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
