It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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