I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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