screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
