my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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