Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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