Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
