shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
