i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
