Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
