I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
