I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize