I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
