i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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