he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
