so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
