HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
