I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
