This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
