My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.