So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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