Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
