we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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