I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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