Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
