he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
