its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
