If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
did you just send me my own nude
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
