At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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