Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
