Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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