my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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