let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize