dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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