My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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