4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
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