YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
