Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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