You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
