Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize